So, it’s Friday night and my house is a mess. And when I say mess, I mean apocalyptic. (There’s a reason we call our kids F-4 and F-5.)
There’s a baby bottle of was-milk-now-cheese under the couch, a shredded pile of what I think was a book, ground toothpaste in the carpet, a few (used?) pull-ups, wrappers from... something, some dirty laundry, a few DVD cases without DVDs, a couple of unopened cartons of yogurt, broken toys (quantity: 47), and oh my lanta I could go on.
I call the kids to me.
“Sam,” I say. “Lily. Look. What do you see.”
Sam (F-4): “It’s a mess.”
Lily (F-5): “A really BIG mess.”
Me: “And this is just the living room.”
Moment of silence.
Then, an epiphany. Well, more of just a remembering followed by a maternal sigh.
“We’re going to have to do this bird by bird,” I say.
Sam: “There’s a dead bird, too?!”
Me: “Maybe. That’s not the point.”
Lily: “You KILLED A BIRD?”
Me: “No. Close your eyes.”
Sam: "Can we get a bird?"
Me: "No. Close your eyes."
Sam: “Why?”
Me: “Just do it.”
Lily: “I don’t want to close my eyes.”
“Obey me the first time I tell you to do something.” (Too bad it’s already like the fourth, right?)
F-4 and F-5 close their eyes.
“Now,” I say. “Point.”
They point. (Miracles happen.)
“Okay. Open your eyes. What are you pointing to?”
Sam: “I’m pointing to a wad of gum.”
Lily: “I’m pointing to a ninja tutu.”
Me: “Okay. Don’t think about this whole big mess. Don’t think about how it’s so overwhelming. Just pick up that one thing.”
They stare at me.
“Sam, if you don’t hurry, Lily’s going to beat you.”
They scramble. Fast. (There might be some fingernails driven into kidneys.)(My kidneys, of course. Never mind the laws of physics, the one who gets hurt is always me.)
321 birds later, I get out my Roomba and I watch him circle.
Annie Lamott may have some seriously non-Honor-Code approved blonde dreadlocks, but she also has some serious sense.
We could have sat in my apocalyptic living room for days, staring at the massive mounds of crap everywhere, but then it would be days later and I’d—-let’s be honest, the kids would have ditched me by then—-still be sitting there all panicked and freaked out about the fact that my.life.has.come.to.this.
The problem with big projects is that they’re always so... BIG. They make the panic part of our brain go into overdrive and we get so freaked out that we just end up finding excuses to procrastinate. Which only makes the project BIGGER.
Save yourself a headache: go bird by bird.
(Not dead birds.)
(Gross.)
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Okay, well, this isn’t fair because you have hilarious kids to include in your blog post. It would be incredibly rude if others of us looked at our roommate’s side of the room and said, “You live in a mess. Let’s fix your life issues bird by bird.”
ReplyDeleteNext we would hear, “What the freak do you mean ‘life issues’?!”
It would all lead to a very unfortunate demise, or otherwise gigantic hindrance, of any friendship we were trying to establish with this pig we have to live with until April, or December if the mess is too large.
I agree, you definitely have better stories than the rest of us to post. (At least more gross ones.) But then again, roommates make for some pretty good stories.
ReplyDeleteI think Annie Lamott does make a very good point. It is better to just take things one at a time and get it over with. Doing it "bird by bird" reduces it down to a manageable size. That way you aren't just sitting there panicking and making everything worse.
That's the problem with procrastination. It makes you not enjoy whatever you are doing while trying not to think about what you SHOULD be doing. And then you are just plain miserable.
Too bad we do it anyway.
Man, I wish I had a cool story like that to post. Of course, living in Heritage Halls with 5 other guys, my apartment looks like a load of crap sometimes too. But sadly enough, we haven't had any used pull-ups left on the ground yet...
ReplyDeleteWhen I first read Lamott's article, I immediately thought of my mom. Growing up, she always taught me when I get stressed out (essentially all the time), I should just take everything day by day - "bird by bird." Lamott makes an excellent point of approaching a situation from a different perspective that allows us to manage it more easily. Take our Wikipedia research paper, for instance. I still don't really have any idea what I'm going to write about, especially something that will have 10 pages of information in it. But if I take everything day by day, "bird by bird," psychologically, I will be able to accomplish it easier and more efficiently.
Now if only I could think of a topic...
"Bird by Bird." Wow, that brings back memories from summer term. My very first roommate was extremely internet savvy. At first I was very impressed, as he found 100 dollar textbooks for 3 dollars and found me a better-than-new MacBook for less than 500 dollars. Nevertheless, this internet guru did not know when to stop spending.
ReplyDeleteAt first it was a broken MacBook pro. Okay, I can see how it can be fixed - all it needed was a new keyboard. 3 used (and broken) keyboards later, however, that darn computer was still not fixed. Oh well, let's just lay it on the floor with the pile of keyboards and other computer parts. Soon his attention turned to buying random things like a laser pointer, a 400 watt home theater system, and guitar(s). Keep in mind, all of these came in large boxes that somehow found their way into every closet or corner of our apartment. When he sat down and told me his serious desire to buy a few homing pigeons, I knew we had a problem.
While he never bought a homing pigeon, the things he bought might as well have been. At first glance, learning to come to respect my friend's spending habit was a daunting and near impossible task. This task was accomplished, however, by continually working to understand this new type of friend... one homing pigeon at a time
I have always tried to be someone who does not procrastinate doing assignments. But never fail, life catches up to me and I fall behind. Really, really behind. I loved reading this article by Annie Lamott because it helped me view the projects in my life as lots of little projects. When I write a "To Do" list, I know try to split it up into a million little things. Then I get started.
ReplyDeleteSlowly as I check the list off, I feel a sense of accomplishment. I feel like, even though in the "big picture" I really haven't accomplished much, I have done something productive.
That is the key to increased productivity. When a person feels like they can be and are productive, then they strive even harder to continue being that way.
I am the Queen of Procrastination, so Anne Lamott's “Short Assignments” was helpful to me. I think my main problem is that I am both a procrastinator and a perfectionist – a dangerous combination. When I receive an assignment for school, I think, “Well, I'm not really sure what I want to do yet – I'm going to wait until I have a really good idea.” (Or something along these lines.)
ReplyDeleteFor example: I was editor-in-chief of my high school newspaper, the Bingham Prospector, last year. A teacher at our school passed away as a result of ALS, and myself and my news editor were assigned to write a front page article about her. It was so difficult we didn't even know where to begin. It was a sensitive subject. We spent hours interviewing students and faculty and even her husband (the most emotional interview I'd ever conducted) and when we were done, we felt like we had an accurate picture of this teacher's life, her disease, and her contributions to the school. But then we were totally overwhelmed. Putting the quotes together into an article – a front page article that her husband, family, and students would read – seemed impossible. We wanted explain her struggle and the difficulties she faced while still being sensitive, and the line was really hard to discern. Eventually we did finish the article (ten minutes before we had to go to press). I think if we could have just gotten started, just thrown a quick rough draft together and gone from there, things would have been so much less difficult. We received many compliments on the article, but because we didn't take it bird by bird, it was stressful until the very end.
I think Anne Lamott's article is especially applicable in college because college is so much more work than high school was. I don't know about the rest of you, but I never really had to try very hard in high school and I still got good grades. In college, the projects are bigger, the reading is longer, the exams are harder . . . and college and procrastination don't mix well. I'm trying my best to do things “bird by bird” and so far it's working well. (Except that I still don't know what I want to do for our wikipedia project and right now it seems totally overwhelming.) That's okay, though. Bird by bird.
Kaylee, I can relate to what you said. I am also a perfectionistic procrastinator. When I am writing under pressure, such as for a public speech, scholarship application, et cetera, I become so overwhelmed by the enormity of writing the "perfect" paper that I completely freeze up. Every flicker of an idea for a topic is dismissed as too simplistic, too cliche, or just plain boring. I sit at my desk agonizing over the task and wasting precious time in my self-doubt.
ReplyDeleteSomething that I am still learning how to do is just write. Write whatever comes to my head, even if it doesn't make sense or seem to be useful for the project at hand. When I do this, one idea spreads its wings and leads to a flock of new ideas. I sit back and do some "bird watching" and then return to writing, piecing together my sightings into a satisfactory final product. It may not be perfect, but it is vibrant, whole, and entirely mine.
I really needed this article.
ReplyDeleteI've always had a huge list of things I want to eventually do.
I want to read this.
I want to write that.
I want to compose this.
I want to draw that.
I always kept adding to the list, and rarely would anything disappear from the list. I would try writing my book, get a couple pages done, and then decide it was crap. I would compose a line or two for several different pieces, but then I found something else to do. I still have a stack of books I need to read. I still want to improve my artistic abilities.
I always think "Oh, there's time for that tomorrow," but isn't today yesterday's tomorrow?
I should really get on that.
Great article, by the way.
So I have a confession to make:
ReplyDeleteI tried knocking out the syllabus “Bird by Bird.”
Don’t get me wrong, but I look at an 18 page syllabus and I think torment. No matter how witty or colloquial the language may be.
So tonight, (it’s what, 11:07 now), I returned to the Syllabus in hope of newfound enlightenment and I read what may have [well, let’s face it, most likely not]…what may have SAVED my grade in this class.
“Everyone in the class will be required to post a 100ish word response in the “comments” section of every posted discussion”
Bah. So here are my 100ish words. Think of them as dead birds.
... It's sstarting to come into focus. It's starting to make sense; all those things you've been telling us. The "bird by bird," the short assignments reading, the 45 minutes a day work log, they're all telling us something important, something connected.
ReplyDeleteSo, I should take my assignment, and think of one thing I need to do for it that would take forty-five minnutes, and do that. Then, I should do that every day for the week. The big projects are just a few weeks of 45 minute homework assignments that make one big cool something that fits nicely together at the end.
What else fits into I wonder? What does she want us to "get?"
I can definitely relate to Anne Lamott when she talks about letting her mind wander. I feel like I can never put a dent in my 'to do' list because as soon as I sit down to do it, a million other reminders pop into my head! Its like I am constantly working in circles, thinking of all the things I need to do before I can do the next task, and the next, and the next, etc., which eventually lead me back to the task at hand. In the end I get so overwhelmed, I just sit there staring at my facebook account. Maybe next time I will try not to think so much and just focus on one task at a time. Easier said than done.
ReplyDeleteThe subject matter of this post is probably relating to most new students. I know that after switching into honors 150 and missing the first 3 days was a huge set back. Coming to class for the first time and realizing we starting a research paper was some what of a wake up call. Going back to my dorm after class and coming to realize there is an 18 page syllabus was even more of a wake up call, maybe a slap in the face, or maybe being doused with cold water. After reviewing the syllabus, i was, expectedly, feeling very overwhelmed, but as it is said in the post, if you just take things "bird by bird," its a lot easier. Also, Jessica, i have the same problem, most of my homework takes 3 times longer than it should have because of that stupid website. I have a complicated relationship with facebook. I love it....I also hate it
ReplyDeleteBut mostly I love it
Thank you for making Anne Lamott's article our first reading assignment. I was expecting to read a quaint little article containing some "useful" tip or bit of information that I would log away and never use again. Instead I was confronted with the personification of college reality. A stern voice yelled from the book "Jill, you're in college. This isn't some pansy high school class you can glide through. Just. Do. It. Whining about how massive the project is doesn't get you any closer to the finished product."
ReplyDeleteI should listen.
College has a scary "stern voice".
Everyone keeps saying how the article was a huge wake up call. It's so true. Hmm, maybe you planned it that way.
I think we all, as human beings, were programmed to do great things in small ways.
ReplyDeleteThe scriptures speak of learning "line upon line", and isn't that so true? You can't learn everything at once: you've got to start small, some low-level classes with assigments here and there, memorizing some things occasionally, and slowly but surely you can work your way up. Even Stephen Hawking had to start out with addition and subtraction before working on up to quantum physics. I think the concept of learning and the idea of results work the same. Both require effort, and hard work, and in the end, one feels accomplished with a job well done.
And if you think about it, the Lord works similarly: Nephi tells us, "By small means the Lord can bring about great things." Alma concurs, "By small and simple things are great things brought to pass..."
This is where it is really good to do as the Lord does. Keep it small and simple, guys -- little finches rather than massive ostriches -- and everything falls into place.
Anne Lamott's "Short Assignments" reminded me of the science fairs I had to do in elementary school. The teacher would announce that daunting and seemingly unconquerable assignment months in advance.
ReplyDeleteShe would give step by step instructions and smaller deadlines, breaking it into smaller assignments. "I need your hypothesis in one week, your experiment performed in three weeks, and your data graphed in four weeks." She was trying to help me do it "bird by bird."
However, she would never require me to turn anything in until the day of the science fair. So I would procrastinate and procrastinate, until the night before the science fair I would be up until one a.m. (which seems quite late to an elementary school student) and my mother would scold me for not doing my project earlier.
I continued this pattern of procrastination up until my senior year of high school, when I realized my projects were much bigger than an elementary school science fair and required a little more planning, full of small steps.
Occasionally, I still have to remind myself to take those seemingly daunting assignments "bird by bird."
"Breathe. Breathe. Don't panic. Breathe." This comprises part of the mental talking-to I have to give myself when confronted with a daunting, seemingly insurmountable task. After a little bit, when my heart rate slows, I do the thing I always do in these situations; I make a list. Check it twice. See if the project's gonna be naughty or nice. It usually looks nicer and less like the Nightmare Before Christmas when it's all neatly laid out on paper. Without my list therapy, sometimes the sheer enormity of the job at hand overwhelms me and I'm tempted to put it off because I don't know where to begin. But then I have to tell myself to snap out of it, because I have found that generally, things aren't as bad as I think they will be. They almost never are, in fact. I stress out too much. So, this in mind, I go back to my little list, sit down, and breathe.
ReplyDeleteOkay, maybe I can actually post this one... :) Take two...
ReplyDeleteI really like the phrase Anne Lamott uses. Birds remind me of freedom, and taking an oppressively large project is like moving closer to freedom. Many of my teachers and mentors have used analogies like this. They take seemingly insurmountable tasks and break them into bite sized pieces. :) (Excuse my own analogy.)
One such phrase has stayed with me over time. The summer after my junior year, I attended the Utah Girls' State program. The director was introducing the program the first day and she said, "You can do anything for a day. You can be anyone for a day." This idea has especially helped me when looking at my education. I know that I can't be a hardworking, successful college student for four years, but I can try to be one today. If I mess up, I can try again tomorrow.
My calculus teacher took out a marker on the first day and drew a mountain on the board. At the bottom, he put a little dot. "This is you," he said. "I'm going to be your guide and help you reach the top, one step at a time."
Whether it be one step at a time, one day at a time, or one bird at a time, there's wisdom in breaking problems down.
That was a really creative way to write a response to something that could be seen as potentially boring. In fact, I rather enjoyed it and found myself wanting to see if your children were tricked into cleaning by doing so.
ReplyDeleteIt also made me realize how simple, and yet profound that that advice actually is. It's amazing to think that if we would just break it down, bird by bird, then we could get the work done impressively quickly and, even more suprising, without a massive headache that would threaten to make our brains explode (almost as gross as the dead birds).
Great advice, although the analogy was a little gross, I will admit it. Procrastination and then hurrying at the last moment is definitely one of my kryptonites, but I think next time I'll try this, and just take it bird by bird.
Daniel Wells section 3 honors 150
ReplyDeleteThis story was good, but the whole bird by bird metaphor still escapes my understanding.
However I thought that the motivational tactics for getting the little guys to help was very accurate and also well executed. I think that I will definitely use that in my life... spin around stop
By the way that so happens at my house too.:)
Sarah Embley
ReplyDeleteI have been raised with the concept of “bird by bird”. I have a grandpa that constantly loves to tell his grandchildren riddles and jokes. I remember once when I was a child my grandpa turned to me and asked, “How do you eat an elephant?” I recall thinking that it was a weird question and I thought that he was just being silly. I was kind of curious to see what he would come up with so I turned to him and said,” Well, I don’t know...how?” I still remember the way he smiled and firmly stated, “One bite at a time”.
I’m one of those people that have a planner that contains almost everything in my life- all my tests, assignments ect. Not only that... they are all color-coded. When I sit back and look at all of it, it is extremely overwhelming! One thing that has helped me already this semester is using checklists (they are the best things!) It makes me feel so good to pull out my pen and cross something off my list. It helps me to take things “bird by bird”...”one bite at a time”.
You know, in England the slang word “bird” means a highly attractive girl. So the thought of doing things “bird by bird” is amusing when thought of in that context. Maybe it’s inappropriate. Whatever, it still makes me laugh :)
ReplyDeleteBut other than that, the phrase is so true to my life. I am the worst procrastinator in human existence, so this piece of advice is especially applicable to me. Especially with this massive research project we’ve got going on right now. And the other million things I have to get done this week… just thinking about it makes me nauseous. But it’s not so bad when I just remember to take it bird by bird. Heehee.
Sorry Chelsey, but I am the World's Greatest Procrastinator. I even won an award for it. Perhaps I will tell you about it later.
ReplyDeleteWhy do we stress? Lamott seems to say that this happens when don't know where we're going, how to get there, or if we're going at all. How horrible!
Though Lamott says that we "don't have to see [our] destination", she does not say that we do not need to know where we are going. Inconceivable!
If you think that you are a better procrastinator than I am, please share your stories.
Did you read “Short Assignments” to your kids? They couldn’t understand the whole “bird by bird” bit if you didn’t. Poor kids. They’re already being set up for failure…
ReplyDeleteIt’s true. I like short assignments better than big assignments, but in reality, every big assignment is just made up of short assignments. Those short assignments aren’t as fun as the tiny assignments that just stand alone, though, because once you’ve finished one part, you just have to move on to the next short assignment until the big assignment is done. Tiny assignments make me happy! :) However, I guess, the trick and point is that if you see each segment of the big assignment as a tiny assignment that stands alone, you can psych yourself out to be happy, just like with those tiny assignments……but I still would prefer to date those tiny assignments! :)
I enjoyed they layout of your response. Not only was it a great story and masterfully told but, the way in which you presented it was interesting. The way which the diolauge was written was very unique and creative.
ReplyDeleteI often find myself overwhelmed by the ever mounting tasks that present themselves. I often procrastinate things until I am completley overwhelmed and unable to cope. I think that the reading captured perfectly how to accomplish out overwhelming tasks. This is something my mom has taught me and is something for which I am extremly greatful.
There are two main benefits to approaching things "bird by bird": getting started and eliminating distractions.
ReplyDeleteOne reason people procrasinate so often is because they are overwhelmed by the size of the project. However, the hardest step is usually getting started. I've heard of a popular suggestion to spend just 10 minutes on something you're procrastinating. Once you get started, working is not quite so dreadful.
Focusing on a single "bird" at a time allows you to work more efficiently. Everybody brags about being able to multi-task, but I don't buy into that. You can't really split your full energy and attention onto multiple things without significantly drop the quality of your work.
You say you can read your textbook, watch The Office, and cook dinner at the same time. But how often do you really know what's going on? You're alternating working on different things without ever fully engaging on anything.
I thought this article was realy helpful for me because I do exactly what the author describes- I see the whole project and I get so overwhelmed that I forget that it will only get accomplished bit by bit. My lack of ability to shorten the big assignment into small assignments leads to a big problem with procrastination. It was really helpful to read Anne Lamott's views on how to slow down, breathe, and realize that it can be done. The one-inch picture frame idea was brilliant. If it fits in a one-inch picture frame, then you can just focus on that part of your project. I also tend ot take myself too seriously which means that I don't like to start projects because I am afraid to do something wrong. Anne Lamott did an excellent job of clearing up the problem of being overwhelmed by big projects.
ReplyDeleteI suppose that our responses needed to be 100ish words... I didn't get that till now. 35 pages of syllabus is a lot, I get lost.
ReplyDeletemy last one was only 66 but I thought that I got the Point that I wanted across.
anyway big projects are just a grouping of a lot of smaller projects that just need to be separated from the glob.
When I start a big project the first thing I do is try to figure out what exactly the requirements are saying... recently this has turned into something slightly different. I want to start with a memorized, understand analyze approach. then I am going to make a plan as the second stage this involves free writing sketching and then outlining.
finally there is the actual project and this part involves filling out the outline, making the thing understandable with punctuation and wording and spacing, then the last stage is getting some advice because everybody misses something.
Ok so I'm super late at commenting on all these so let's just get on with it.
ReplyDeleteI have always been a a horrible procrastinator. No matter how many times I try to schedule out my assignments I never stick to my schedule. Microsoft Excel is not my friend. When I start a project I stress over not being perfect then give up at the very beginning. Anne Lamott's comments about the picture frame and "lightening up" were very useful. I have learned this semester to break things up and focus on individual parts. It makes things much easier. Why are we not taught this throughout our lives? Heaven forbid we are taught something useful in high school!